People said when life give you lemon, u should make lemonade. The problem is when you realize your jar of water fall to the ground, and then the sugar is mysteriously missing! What should you do then?
Life is no peach. Esp when u give all your love out then people don't appreciate it, what would you then?
I am so tired of caring for people. Sometimes I do want to be cared at. You know when you whine about something and people just ignore and said things will passed and that you are not thankful enough? Yeap eventually it will pass, but at those strained times, I do feel like its one of the biggest problem I ever had.
Some people, they chase so many things that they end up forgetting those that have been with them for the last thousand years. And when they have lil hiccups and people abandon them, then they remember, hey maybe I should call so and so, she/he always listen to my problems. Sigh.. Is that the only time you remember him/her? Is she/he not worth of your attention, since she/he was so blessed with everything?
I miss those people who once, were so important to me, but now, I don't feel that there's any thing to relate any more. Maybe we moved on. Maybe we stop caring. Maybe we grow up and feels that we are somewhat different. Maybe. Maybe not.
I wish I was some where else, and doing some thing else and start over all over again. Its getting tired and frustrating.
To my love, get well soon. I know the chemo is eating you out, and I know you are trying to fight it out. I am with you. I want to grow old with you, with you cradling my lil ones. I want them to know what a wonderful dad and grandpa that you have been. I wanted to show you how successful I can become. I wanted you to be happy with the path I've chosen and how you give me enough room on growing up. I wanted to show you a lot more, I wanted you to be proud of me.
I know I'm selfish to make you suffer in order to make me happy. If you need to go, with open heart, with open arms and mind, I'm letting you go, love. Its tiring, its hurting, it breaks my heart and even your family, but I could not selfishly asking you to stay even thou you can't anymore.
I know you are strong, and I know you could survive this and another 10 years or so easily. Stay strong Dad. I love you so, and we all do love you so. But if you can't handle it anymore, we love you enough to let you go to meet your only lover. I love you dad, and I wish you knew how much I do...
And to you, I know you are under a lot of stress, but don't take it out on others. It hurts. We are all trying to help, yet you resist so much that I don't know if I can still be here, watching you burning yourself to death...And if I have enough energy to deal with all those silly things anymore...
Again and again I fall into depression.. but the one I confessed to always, always tell me I'm not, and it will go away. Is it better to pretend that I don't have problems? That I am too perfect to have problems? I'm sorry, I can't confessed to you anymore. The trust is slowly, slowly beginning to crumple. And I don't feel like talking or opening up to you anymore.
To another you, thank you for listening to my rambling, even in wee hours of morning, or whenever I feel like talking. Even thou you don't understand my world, my life, my style and my craziness, you stood there, like a best friend should, and give me enough shoulder that yours are drenched with tears. Thank you for caring for me, you make me wanna try again, and that I can do anything. Maybe tonight we can have another double feast just like yesterday, just to cheer me up? XD
Writing gives me medium to get mad, to get creative, to write what I feel, to laugh, to cry, and its like one best friend I could always count on. I could talk on and on about my plans, my broken plans, my future and past plan, and it soothes my nerves. I miss writing. I hate whatever I wrote could be misinterpret, but I don't want to care anymore...
Any planes to any beautiful beaches with free accommodations and foods? Anyone?
Life is no peach. Esp when u give all your love out then people don't appreciate it, what would you then?
I am so tired of caring for people. Sometimes I do want to be cared at. You know when you whine about something and people just ignore and said things will passed and that you are not thankful enough? Yeap eventually it will pass, but at those strained times, I do feel like its one of the biggest problem I ever had.
Some people, they chase so many things that they end up forgetting those that have been with them for the last thousand years. And when they have lil hiccups and people abandon them, then they remember, hey maybe I should call so and so, she/he always listen to my problems. Sigh.. Is that the only time you remember him/her? Is she/he not worth of your attention, since she/he was so blessed with everything?
I miss those people who once, were so important to me, but now, I don't feel that there's any thing to relate any more. Maybe we moved on. Maybe we stop caring. Maybe we grow up and feels that we are somewhat different. Maybe. Maybe not.
I wish I was some where else, and doing some thing else and start over all over again. Its getting tired and frustrating.
To my love, get well soon. I know the chemo is eating you out, and I know you are trying to fight it out. I am with you. I want to grow old with you, with you cradling my lil ones. I want them to know what a wonderful dad and grandpa that you have been. I wanted to show you how successful I can become. I wanted you to be happy with the path I've chosen and how you give me enough room on growing up. I wanted to show you a lot more, I wanted you to be proud of me.
I know I'm selfish to make you suffer in order to make me happy. If you need to go, with open heart, with open arms and mind, I'm letting you go, love. Its tiring, its hurting, it breaks my heart and even your family, but I could not selfishly asking you to stay even thou you can't anymore.
I know you are strong, and I know you could survive this and another 10 years or so easily. Stay strong Dad. I love you so, and we all do love you so. But if you can't handle it anymore, we love you enough to let you go to meet your only lover. I love you dad, and I wish you knew how much I do...
And to you, I know you are under a lot of stress, but don't take it out on others. It hurts. We are all trying to help, yet you resist so much that I don't know if I can still be here, watching you burning yourself to death...And if I have enough energy to deal with all those silly things anymore...
Again and again I fall into depression.. but the one I confessed to always, always tell me I'm not, and it will go away. Is it better to pretend that I don't have problems? That I am too perfect to have problems? I'm sorry, I can't confessed to you anymore. The trust is slowly, slowly beginning to crumple. And I don't feel like talking or opening up to you anymore.
To another you, thank you for listening to my rambling, even in wee hours of morning, or whenever I feel like talking. Even thou you don't understand my world, my life, my style and my craziness, you stood there, like a best friend should, and give me enough shoulder that yours are drenched with tears. Thank you for caring for me, you make me wanna try again, and that I can do anything. Maybe tonight we can have another double feast just like yesterday, just to cheer me up? XD
Writing gives me medium to get mad, to get creative, to write what I feel, to laugh, to cry, and its like one best friend I could always count on. I could talk on and on about my plans, my broken plans, my future and past plan, and it soothes my nerves. I miss writing. I hate whatever I wrote could be misinterpret, but I don't want to care anymore...
Any planes to any beautiful beaches with free accommodations and foods? Anyone?
0 comments:
Post a Comment