Showing posts with label ayah. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ayah. Show all posts
Saturday, October 15, 2011

Birthday & Swings

Hey peeps~
Thursday was S bday, so we celebrate it at Secret Recipe. 
I got the full fibre cheesecake(heaven) n she had blackforest


D Foods! yummyyy

D food (inside our tummies)

D bday girl~


And today, went to hospital to visit my dad, n since kids can't go in, I have babysit these two daredevils:

They were playing swings and keep on asking me to push them!

The kids

So fun!

Weee~


My dad looks better, more cheerful, and keep making plans for my special day.
I bet he's excited to let go another and d last daughter!
So yeah, just finished one of the deco (the pom poms)
Next, will be the hantaran stuff.
Bought the egg box for favors.
What else?
zzzz
Yeah I should catch some sleep...
but am too restless!
haiz, anyway good night peeps.
Have a great day tomorrow yah.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Lemonade, sugar, and a jar of water.

People said when life give you lemon, u should make lemonade. The problem is when you realize your jar of water fall to the ground, and then the sugar is mysteriously missing! What should you do then?

Life is no peach. Esp when u give all your love out then people don't appreciate it, what would you then?

I am so tired of caring for people. Sometimes I do want to be cared at. You know when you whine about something and people just ignore and said things will passed and that you are not thankful enough? Yeap eventually it will pass, but at those strained times, I do feel like its one of the biggest problem I ever had.

Some people, they chase so many things that they end up forgetting those that have been with them for the last thousand years. And when they have lil hiccups and people abandon them, then they remember, hey maybe I should call so and so, she/he always listen to my problems. Sigh.. Is that the only time you remember him/her? Is she/he not worth of your attention, since she/he was so blessed with everything?

I miss those people who once, were so important to me, but now, I don't feel that there's any thing to relate any more. Maybe we moved on. Maybe we stop caring. Maybe we grow up and feels that we are somewhat different. Maybe. Maybe not.

I wish I was some where else, and doing some thing else and start over all over again. Its getting tired and frustrating.

To my love, get well soon. I know the chemo is eating you out, and I know you are trying to fight it out. I am with you. I want to grow old with you, with you cradling my lil ones. I want them to know what a wonderful dad and grandpa that you have been. I wanted to show you how successful I can become. I wanted you to be happy with the path I've chosen and how you give me enough room on growing up. I wanted to show you a lot more, I wanted you to be proud of me.

I know I'm selfish to make you suffer in order to make me happy. If you need to go, with open heart, with open arms and mind, I'm letting you go, love. Its tiring, its hurting, it breaks my heart and even your family, but I could not selfishly asking you to stay even thou you can't anymore.

I know you are strong, and I know you could survive this and another 10 years or so easily. Stay strong Dad. I love you so, and we all do love you so. But if you can't handle it anymore, we love you enough to let you go to meet your only lover. I love you dad, and I wish you knew how much I do...

And to you, I know you are under a lot of stress, but don't take it out on others. It hurts. We are all trying to help, yet you resist so much that I don't know if I can still be here, watching you burning yourself to death...And if I have enough energy to deal with all those silly things anymore...

Again and again I fall into depression.. but the one I confessed to always, always tell me I'm not, and it will go away. Is it better to pretend that I don't have problems? That I am too perfect to have problems? I'm sorry, I can't confessed to you anymore. The trust is slowly, slowly beginning to crumple. And I don't feel like talking or opening up to you anymore.

To another you, thank you for listening to my rambling, even in wee hours of morning, or whenever I feel like talking. Even thou you don't understand my world, my life, my style and my craziness, you stood there, like a best friend should, and give me enough shoulder that yours are drenched with tears. Thank you for caring for me, you make me wanna try again, and that I can do anything. Maybe tonight we can have another double feast just like yesterday, just to cheer me up? XD

Writing gives me medium to get mad, to get creative, to write what I feel, to laugh, to cry, and its like one best friend I could always count on. I could talk on and on about my plans, my broken plans, my future and past plan, and it soothes my nerves. I miss writing. I hate whatever I wrote could be misinterpret, but I don't want to care anymore...

Any planes to any beautiful beaches with free accommodations and foods? Anyone?

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Blissfully happy

Yes, finally the cloud had drifted, the bee look sweet again, the elephant remain gentle, and the sweetest thing is oozing with sweetness.

My dad sounds healthy, am going to check up on him this evening, n my farm that is invaded by elephant? I look online & finally found some plants that we adore but not them, are chillies, sunflower, chyrsanthemum, tea & sesame. I chose the first 3, n am going to visit my farm to clean it up & other stuff. Have to look for alarm system too.

&, my parent gv their permission fo us to b engaged, after I got a job. Muahaha. & he will talk to his family, & since the biggest obstacle just crumble down, so I hope they will gv us their bless too.

Next, he hv a suprise for my bday, which will be a month away. Am so happy, I lost my specs n practically blind going to work. But too happy to be mad. Everything is going smoothly, as it had been for the past 22yrs of my life. ;)

Live your life peeps. You ll never know when you ll drop dead
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Monday, January 17, 2011

Chemo 1,down.

My dad had his first chemo yesterday, n when I text him at night, he said he's running a very high fever,as his immune system is down.. I miss my dad. Sobs. I hope he'll do fine & get well soon. :(
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Friday, January 14, 2011

Daddy dearest..

I'll pray for you,even when there is no hope anymore.
I'll pray for you, even if you said you'll be okay..
I'll pray for you, even when you said it does not hurt a bit.
I'll pray for you, come rain or shine..
I'll pray for you, even when you close your eyes, and more when you look at me.
I'll smile for you, even when my heart is aching n breaking into thousand tiny pieces.
I'll laugh with you, so that you feel stronger.
I'll hug n kiss you, as if tomorrow I will not see you again.
I'll hold your hand, telling you it will be okay.
I'll tell all the lame jokes, to hear your laugh.
I'll do my best to stay strong, so that you feel strong.
I'll do my best not to cry in front of you, so that you won't feel sad n guilty.
I'll put on my fake smile, even when I wanted to scream.


"Daddy dearest, why did you start smoking?
Daddy dearest, why can't you stop smoking?
Daddy dearest, who will go to my graduation if you don't?
Daddy dearest, who will buy me food I love just because?
Daddy dearest, how can I repay your love for me?
Daddy dearest, who should I show all my achievement later?
Daddy dearest, who will shake my husband to be hand and say the akad?
Daddy dearest, who will play with my children?
Daddy dearest, how can they not knowing their wonderful grandad?
Daddy dearest oh daddy dearest, why are you so stuborn?
Daddy dearest, why did you break my heart?
Daddy dearest, I'm scared, what should I do?
Daddy dearest, how can I live without you?"

Mommy dearest, please stay strong.
Dear sisters n brother, please be his rock.
Dear friends, please pray for my dad.
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Monday, December 6, 2010

25 things bout me, for Yenn. :)

I am too bloody bored, and read some of my friends' blogs and came across yenn's 25things about me, so yeah since she tag who ever read it, it includes me kan kan? *totally bored that I actually have time to do it now. *


So here goes:


25. I like vintage, flowery and nature inspired pattern. I could look at them all day.


24. I tried baking and found that I'm bloody good at it, each time I bake people actually want more. But not so with Malay cooking. I don't totally suck, but I enjoy baking more. Maybe because I am picky about what I ate and Malay traditional cooking don't do it for me.


23. I have a pet now, two sepat mutiara name Kiki and Koko. And I still couldn't tell them apart. I remember I used to save any pitiful kitten that came across my way. I gave them saucer of milk, make them a place to live, and once my granma knows, she start packing them up. I was so effing sad. And thats how I got the name Kate, the mother of cats. :P


22. I love looking at the sea and playing at the shores, however I am bloody terrified of actually swimming in them. Most probably because I've drown too many times when I was a kid, so I am traumatized. My dad told me countless time to go anywhere I want, be it mountains or where ever, as long as not the sea. :)


21. I love reading soooooo much, I think I inherited them from my parents. Both love reading, and I have too many collections of books and magazine. Online reading or e-book just doesn't do it for me.


20. Another thing I inherited is my knacks of trying out new things and new cuisine. We spent countless time when I was young, going everywhere to try new cuisine. My dad knows pretty much all the right places to dine, and growing up, I love yong taufu so much we went to Kg Melayu Majidee to eat them every other month, just for me. And oh yeah, chicken chop too. My dad always cut it into smaller pieces for me. :)


19. I used to tag along every where my dad goes. So since I am now older, he always think that I would tag along too. :)


18. I have different personalities with different people. And once I think they are not worth of my friendship, my coldness could make make water freeze! But if I have to talk to them, I'll remain professional and warm that sometimes makes my friends wonder. :)


17. I dislike people most of the time. I could always find flaws, but yeah once you pass my critical eye, I don't give a damn much anyway. I find people annoy me most of the time. Well most of them.


16. I am a messy person. I only have compulsive to clean once a month, or when I feel like it. Mostly, I just shove them and look clean on the outside, but when my compulsive came, I clean like a freak.


15. I don't like washing and folding up clothes either. I don't mind ironing and putting them on shelves thou. :P


14. I always wanted to back packing across Malaysia ever since I was 18, but still haven't had time.


13. I love to play games, even kiddies. I played game till my back and butt hurts, but still playing and I always wanted the highest score possible.


12. Am bloody competitive.


11. Am bloody stubborn too.

10. Different musics brings out different emotions from me. Such as Matchbox Twenty bent and if you're gone always makes me mellow, Katy Perry teenager dream makes me smile, Gaga makes me dance and happy.


9. I love swings. weee~


8. I like any vegies, but only eat chicken for meat, I don't like fish, and I don't like meat unless it really tender and the fish has no bone. I am picky. :)


7. I adore weddings, I like to planning events. It makes me focus my creativity and restless mind, takes my mind of things and I just love a good party!


6. I think guys with V across their abs are so bloody hot, and so does guys who talk with accent. *melt*


5. However, I still like Khyru the best. Inside is more important than outside, and he does makes me laugh out loud although sometimes I don't get his jokes, and he has to explain it to me, then only I could laugh. He brings out the best in me by allowing me to do whatever I want. And I love him, for his flaws, and despite that. :)


4.I am allergic to seafood. But that doesn't stop me from devouring prawns and crabs. But I have to pay for the consequence after that. :P


3. I wrote in English to improve my language, since I don't talk much in English anymore because no one wants to talk to me in English. Once in a blue moon Khyru will entertain my whims, however it is easier to write here in English than finding someone to converse in English. I don't want my English to rust. And I don't give a damn bout people saying that when people wrote in English they don't respect their roots and so on. Yeah I wrote in English so sue me. I get lots of my friends came up to me and said they learn English because of my blog. Thank you! Its not perfect but I am glad you could use it :)


2. I like to sleep in comforter however hot it is. I find it comforting, like a cocoon.And I like to hug something before I fell asleep. :)


1. I like babies when they are others'. I find babies are cute when they are smiling, and I am quickly annoyed when they are wailing. I have no idea how am I gonna be a good mother when I don'y even like them. *sigh*


0. And now you know another 25things about me, and I hope you enjoy getting to know me more. And now, I tag anyone that read this, and if you ever read this, so if you do, link me back up coz I don't want to pressure you guys into writing things you don't want to. :)


Selamat tahun baru everyone! Salam Maal hijrah. May we could be better than we were yesterday. :)
Wednesday, December 1, 2010

DIET : 7Spice


On 24th Nov, at night, I went to HSA again with my ibu, and my sister and her hubby came too. She ajak me dinner, and my Ibu said she donwana come coz my Ayah will be transfered to other ward. So my brother in law wants to try 7Spice and my sis and me follow him. Half way, since the jam is too unbearable, we went to Singgah Selalu Danga Bay, but since there's no mamak, we went out again and went to this 7Spice.





The menu






I had pineapple juice



Brother in law and sister



Self vanity



The Tandoori. seriously nice! the herbs, the taste of sweet and sour. Ohh~



My food, Naan Cheese


The cheese oozing out. Ohh~

Nasi Briyani and Sambal Udang





Tika Masala Chicken



Alu Paratha


What my Ayah had - 7Spice Naan



My Ayah on the day before operation.

Get well soon Ayah!
Your families all are praying for you. :)

The worst diner service, Ayah and his grandson.


The other day, after Ayah has finally recover from his stomach ulcer, he wanted to go to this diner in Teluk Sengat, where fresh seafood is serve every day. So after enduring a half hour ride, we arrived at one chinese place but Ibu scared that its not Halal, so we went to another diner there. 

And seriously, I never been to one here, I think its new, and the staff, is blooooody rude and incompetence. Since its Sultan Johor's Bday, so its holiday and the place is jam packed. At first they asked what we want to order, blah blah blah, and then after a few minutes, the order for Ibu's ABC arrived. Just as she wanted to taste it, the waiter took it back and said its not my mum's n wrong order. Then, the food arrived. There's tomyam, sayur sawi jepun, and fried prawn. We asked the waiter is this ours, as the tomyam is too small for 5people, and also, we did not order fried prawn, but butter prawn. So she said, yes its yours, so we start to eat the prawns. Then suddenly, the other waiter came and said, no this is not yours, how much have you eaten. We were like, huh? but she said, and the other waiter got scold. Then the boss * I think* suddenly said, " Dah taw bukan order, jangan lah makan" n proceed mumbling. 

By this time, me and my sister are fuming. Like seriously? U did wrong and U said its Ur customer fault?? WTF. And when our real food came, I asked sarcastically is this seriously ours or will we get scold too? And since my dad has slurp the first tomyam, the boss keep on bebel for that too. Omaifuckingood. What the hell is wrong with the boss? The first waiter came and apologized saying its usually not this busy and the dapur people pening already and so on. Then all our food don't have spoons, and not for us too. My sister ask for spoon 5x, and the last time they gave spoon for us to eat only, and lack 1spoon. Then they did not give us bowl for tomyam, and we have to asked that for few times too.


The food

And we order quite a lot, but two of the side dishes never came, since they forgot to make it. Geezz. How nice if we all could do that? Forget what our customer want. *sigh* Then, when we wanted to pay, we asked for the bills, and no one came. We asked for the bill like 3,4 times, and the first waiter asked the boss to kira, then the boss said :

"lantaklah lantak, aku taknak kira"
WTF????
by this, my sister yell " Eh bang, saya nak balik ni, nak kejar bus lagi, abang ni tanak duet ke? service dala macam taik,ada hati nak nyombong."

and I sambung

"Lain kali tapayah bukak kedai lah kalau tak mampu, banyak lagi kedai lain ktorg boleh pegi kot?"

And then only he came, with mumbling an apology. Fucker.

My sister said, makanan sedap, tapi service takde. macamana nak maju?



This is the name, Medan Selera TS OS

Seriously bang, nak meniaga, buatla sistem sikit. 
Ni meja takde no, then asyik bagi salah je.
Orang lain kami tengok ramai gila tunggu je makanan, tak brani nak cakap cuma Fam saya ngan fam cina 1 tu je brani ckp2 cmni
tapi agak2la kot
penat orang tunggu, then awak plak nak marah2 customer
lain kali memang kami tak pegi dah restoran abang ni
terimakasih je lah ye?

The next day, since my first sister came back, and her daughter wanted small cakes, so my Ibu mixed one and asked me to decorate it. So here the result, with some have chocolate inside, other has strawberry and some are only the batter





I took this pics of Ayah and Ahnaf playing. Oh so cuteeee



My first sister's adopted family came, so my Ibu made mi sup and they brought us some kuih. yummy!
Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Ayah, cepat sembuh okay?

Ayah during one of his treatment.


When I was writing this entry  my dad just told me casually, while he was getting a treatment which he said it is to purify his body, that he had cancer. It was nothing serious he said, when my eyes are smarting like hell. Although I always believe my dad, I didn't believe it then. How can a cancer be not serious, do tell me? He still cheerful, he still doing his favorite things except he's doing it shorter and he went to purify his blood every third day. Whenever I ask whether he need companions, he always said he got someone, when he actually going alone, just because he doesn't want to burden me to come back home every week. Especially as I am busy doing my final year project and stuff, he said its okay, he's absolutely fine.


But I know he's actually not. When he was in pain, he kept smiling and go to bed, saying he feel tired and needed to sleep. He started to vomit blood today, and I'm going back tomorrow. I hope I can go back today, asap. My heart bleed for him. I was so bloody worried. I hope I could see him before anything happen. I can't bear losing him. I'm a daddy's girl, and my dad always so proud of me. He always showing off me to his friends, and always bring me to anywhere he went. I miss you, Ayah. And I love you a lot, its uncountable. 


I won't be who I am today, and I won't be here if its not for him. I have a weakness for sea, and I love sea, but I was always panic when I'm in the sea. Not once or twice that I've drown, but each time I went to somewhere with the sea.I once drown, and I was so bloody deep already that I think I would day, and suddenly, I saw a vision of my dad plunging in the water to save me. It was my Ucu's wedding and my dad have to wear kain sarung and singlet for her wedding. Now and then, I still dream of him that way when he was trying to save me. I rarely cry, but my heart aches so much for my dad.


He's going to operate this 25th, and I pray that he will be okay. The chances are 50-50. And yet, I hope so much that my dad is going to be okay. Cepat sembuh Ayah. So that we can go do our stuff together soon. :)
 

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