Competition, imaginary or real?

Have you ever come across people who sees life as competition?
As if, they need to show their game face on, and never to ask for help or anything, because they are not weak?
Is asking for help some kind of weaknesses?
Is taking a break a weaknesses?
I do not understands people, especially girls who devote themselves, looking for a suitable competition (someone, who in their mind, live a perfect life) and thus, creating an imaginary competition.
Be it she's better dresser, she have better boyfriend/spouse, or even if she have the same thing as you, for example, she's also an same level occupation as you are, or she's pregnant too.
This kind of situations promotes girls to compete, be it by attention, or just plain jealous.
I admit, sometimes I do wonder when my peers start sprouting jealousy of things that have no meaning for me. And sometimes, I do wonder when people said they start doing this and that, because I saw someone else doing it.
Is it some kind of effect? Like domino effect, when one triggered another to fall down too?
Cause sometimes I saw the same clothing or post when I post or wear something, is it possible they are launching their competition on?
Esp, when its nearly freaking same?
Sigh, girls competition is weird and currently, I feel like I'm so lazy to make new friends.
Cause even if they are nice at first, then the relationship always turns ugly in the end.
Cause I don't really think like girls at times, and the things that bother me different than most of the girls that I know.
So I'm comfortable with Syida and Winnie, who, never have the needs to compete with me, who also sticks by me thick and thin.
Not saying all my friends are like that, but most new ones, comes with a guarantee that they'll do fuck me in the end. Either by taking advantages, or just being plain pain in the ass.
And right now, I can't help but some times scorns when I look at these frenemy I have. Esp when they are blatantly obvious trying to mimic things that I used to do, or things that I use.
Seriously I feel tired with these posers...
At times I just want to forgive and forget, but those forgetting is very hard esp when I'm hurt, I tend to remember all the things they did to me.
Maybe some day I'll have enough energy to forgive and forget...

Fasting months!

First time fasting with hubby! 

With additional lil guy in the bun, it's a bit tough, but I'll make it somehow (or I'll just break fast. XD)

So far, only first day I did not cook as we went fasting at my house (although I did fried the vege)

The second until fourth day, I'm still well enough to cook, with Syida's help of course!

Second day : 

Nasi jagung (mom's)

Ayam masak merah

Fried fish

Fried cabbage

Third day:

Spaghetti bolognese

Mushroom soup

Garlic bread 

Fourth day:

Fried rice

(no pic coz I was busy showering, I nearly forgot to eat!)

Alhamdulilah, 5 days fasting, although at 6pm I'll be on the verge of breaking as I'm so freaking hungry, but I don't break fast. I'm trying my best to get full this fasting month. My stomach finally show a bit. Its amazing how now I know the different between baby moving (before that I thought it was my stomach acting up). My baby is so freaking active! Each time I'm doing something I can feel him turning and punching and kicking. Freaking me out at times, and sometimes he hinder me from falling asleep. But as sometimes his kicking and movement is soothing. I know he's alive and living, as I'm worried about him

(I don't put on weight at all, and the nurse threaten me to atleast pack in 2kg, or else...)

Overall, I'm just happy that everything works out well. I don't have anything scary yet, hubby is being helpful around the house, and also when we are out. My boss understands that I'm pregnant and babying me more than I am. It's fun. I still don't know how to be a mother, let alone mother one tiny helpless human being, but I'll try my best to do so..

Right now, I'm so focusing on my work. Gosh it's bone tiring job and currently more and more things to look after for. As my heart is on something else, I can't wait to get a job which just allow me to focus on my creativity and not just the same old routine. Boring...

Sigh, well get back to the job to me. toodles~

The baby list.

Hello!
The lil guy is 20 weeks yesterday, and another 20 weeks more to go!
Totally excited, and since last weekend we went to KL to send back hubby's car, we took the opportunity to shop some basic necessities.

Since I want to breastfed our baby exclusively, we bought the manual pump from Avent, going from RM429 to RM299 at Sogo's members fair. Other than that, on non baby stuff, we bought bag and quilt for us.

So, for now, things that I bought for baby are:

1. Bath tub
2. Nail clipper
3. Avent's manual pump
4. Avent's new born bottle set
5. New born clothes - 3 set
6. Clothes - 1 3-6m, 1 4-8m, 1 8-12m, (don't look at me like that, I'm too excited!!)
7. Baby wipes.
8. Baby wash and shampoo kit
9. The list keep on growing! Refer the list below for more.

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So the things I still want/need to buy:

*The baby list - will keep on adding as time goes by*


For a goodnight sleep:
-- Blanket (bought one with attachable hood! 2in1 blanket and towel :) )
-- Mattress and paddings
-- Some mobile on top of the cot
-- Bedung
-- Baby cot - probably buying the Ikea ones, RM175

Taken from ikea

For a clean and healthy baby:
-- Towel, preferable on hooded ones.
-- Set of wash and shampoo (bought!)
-- Diaper bag/pail
-- Bath Tub (bought!)
-- Nail clipper (bought!)
-- Baby wipes (bought!)
-- Wet bags
-- Air filled mattress for changing diaper and so on (bought a large one from Pureen, going from RM21 to RM17)
-- Mittens and boots (bought 4 set!)
-- Hat (bought one)
-- Cloth Diaper.

The fashion collection by Charlie Banana

Bum genius prints.

GroVia AI2 shell. Cute, isn't it?

((I'm going to use cloth diaper, as I want to save more money, save the planet, and less garbage to earth.
Besides, cloth diaper are definitely cuter and could last until your second or third child too!
My choice for now is Charlie Banana -super cute prints!- and GroVia for versatilty, and maybe throw in a few Bum Genius -have you seen the new prints?delicious!- Some are questioning us right now, esp I'm working full time and I'm too lazy, but I'll try my best! Maybe we should get some of disposable, but seeing my friends/sister, I feel uncomfortable with them. Will see how eh.

Online shop for Cloth Diaper that I love:
Bummiakids
Tinytapir))


For a healthy tummy
-- Bibs and burp cloth
--Avent's newborn set (bought!)
--Avent's manual pump (bought!)

This is the one I bought :)

For a jetsetter baby
-- Stroller (taken from big sis)
-- Ring sling (A girl can dream....esp when the hubby is against it. :/

For a healthy mummy:
-- Set of post natal -I'm thinking tanamerapostnatal.11 products, some could be used before giving birth, starts at RM360 per set.

So, I think the list is good right now. Will update later if I have anything else. :)

Working life...

Hello. Am blogging from phone. Not much to talk about except I'm feeling high each time I look at my work PC. On the desktop, I'm using a flower field picture taken from floretflowers that I just adore. When will it be my time to look at rows and rows of flowers just like this?

Well the first thing I need to do is clean the farm first! And let see where the direction is after that. :)

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A year after graduating...

Has it been a year? Unreal. But it is. It's been a year since I've graduate and I've come a loooong way.

So many things changes, and here's some of the list, just to remind myself to be grateful!

1. I'm a graduated student, who at the time of graduating, I've been working full time as an engineer for 3 months. I'm blessed!

2. I've been to US to work and training in less than 3 months working. Company new record! Usually they send people over 6months period.

3. My department exist because I've joined in. Before this there's no department like mine, and only me working in this department. Bliss.

4. The best boss and Head of Engineering? Possibly!

5. Recognize a great worker less than a year working, done!

6. Got a confirmation a month earlier? Done!

7. Get married with the sweetest man? Done!

8. Provide Dad and Mom allowance (just like they did when I was not working) and make them proud of me? Done!

9. Get two new best friends! (Syida and Winnie) oh double blessing!

10. Got recognition at work, personal congratulations from Head of Engineering and most of manager recognize new junior engineer within 6 months? Yeap! Cross that bridge alright!

11. Dad died... Sad, but at least he's no longer suffer from Chemo. Not so blessed, but in a way, I'm happy for him. I'll just pray hard for him. And I'm sure he'll proud of me wherever he is. :)

12. I'm pregnant! Woohoo. Triple blessing with my friends also pregnant at the same time. Meaning I have few friends to bitch about pregnancy. Lol

13. My salary gets a hike. Blessed.

14. Got to supervise an intern, when I started here being an intern. Wow. I've come a full circle.

15. Inherit 3 and half acre land. Will do something to it! Wait for it.

16. I'm pregnant with baby boy. How blessed. Since I've always wanted to have a boy first. All my families are saying he is replacement for my dad. For me, my dad will never have to be replaced. Just another small angel to see me through the day. Thanks, Ayah.

17. I'm healthy with no complication. Usually those who have extra weight are hard to get prego. I got it easy. Plus, my blood pressure and sugar are normal (until now). Hopefully it will be until I gave birth. Amin.

18. I lost contact with few people that I used to care. But being friends with them zapped my energy so much that I just don't mind losing them. I don't feel like I want to be a dump hole for every single problem they have, and I guess if they don't bother with me, I'll be better off with my new friends~

19. I'm in love with Flower Farming. Oh gosh, don't let me start. I'm still planning on what to do with the land. And I'm blessed enough that my hubby and brother will help. Woohoo.

20. I'm having fun. Lots of it. Finally after thinking I won't be able to, after previous year being so deep in dump. These days, I just enjoy things as they are. Having fun is much more on my priority.

Oh there's so much more lil blessing in my life. But for now, 20 is enough. Gosh. It's been a year. Well. I'm truly blessed with whatever I'm having now, Thank you Allah for all those blessing. :)

5 things about pregnancy

Hey all.

I miss blogging. I really do! It's been four months that I have not been blogging, weeding out trashes from the system. I tried too many things in these four months although it's not enough.

So, the update. I'm still trying to learn how to be a wife and tactful. I'm too honest at times. I did not start any new hobby. I'm getting sarcastic. My father died two months after I got married. *RIP, dad. Love you too much.. *. My performance at work is absolutely nearing perfect for a first year worker as well as young engineer with no experience and even my head of department is happy he congratulate me personally *That, makes my day!* , I bought books and been banned from buying books cause I bought too many. I tried eating healthily and I lost 3 kg, when I found out I'm pregnant. So, of course I will be bigger and bigger by the end of this year!
I was offered to go to New Mexico but declined. As I'm now in my first trimester, I'm very vulnerable, I can't even walk and do things actively. When I was preached with the joy of having a baby, I was not told the side effects of it. :(


I got a mixed feeling for this baby. I mean, I'm no kid lover. I don't even know how to take care of babies. I was said that I was born without any maternal instinct. Oh and I'm now pregnant when I want the baby in maybe 3 years time. It all came suddenly that I was shock and scared and happy. Yes there's happiness, and there's worry too. Money, house, child care. I'm the girl who planned to start business then I'll have a baby. I'm the girl who plan to take care of her own children without the need of childcare. I'm the girl who scoff at mommies who gets too excited with babies and the likes. Sigh what a contradiction I am.

And I got a lot of advice! For now I just stick to reciting Quran, trying my best to pray all the times, eat sensibly, not to be too active, and the likes.


The 5 thing I hate being pregnant (the first trimester):
1. Food.
Then the food. Oh glorious food. I have to forget sushi, half boiled eggs, those coconut drinks, sugarcane and whatever pregnant woman can't eat. I'm allergic to milk, so I'll be vomiting milk after I consume it. All for growing a healthy baby. I'm not even sure when is the due date as it is too small when I did the ultra scan. This is the time when I can get to eat whatever I want and I can't.. :(

2.  The cramp pain.
You have your period pains and cramps. I have pregnancy pains and cramps, which period pains ends around a week or two, these pregnancy pains last like foreverrr *well it does in my opinion. :P *

3. The foot/ leg swelling
This is only when I'm too active, so I feel my feet swells and the back of the kneecap is tired and feel really tight. The Malay calls it Simpul Biawak. Need to rest at put up the feet for few minutes and taadaa, gone! +, it will be gone sooner if there's someone who help to massage the leg and feet, wink wink. :)

4. The lethargic during day and energetic during nights.
I'm very comatose during the day, and I feel sleepy around 11am, yet when I'm home and I tried to sleep early, I'll be dashing off to toilet ever so often that I don't feel rested at all.

5. The helplessness feeling.
Everybody asking me to take it easy. I'm pregnant and remember, take it easy, don't do things that could endanger me and baby. Oh well.

DIET : Gulai Lemak Tempoyak Udang and Sup Sayur (Prawn in gravy and Vegetable soup)

Yesterday, since we( me and housemate) are fasting, so we were cooking some delicious and easy recipe which we just made under 45 mins!

Recipes as below :

Prawn in gravy

Half scallop
2 onion
3 garlic
3 lemon grass
2 turmeric leaves
1cm turmeric or 2 tsp of turmeric
Salt to taste
14 prawn
4 red chili
Coconut milk(half a box)
1 tsp tempoyak 

Blend onion, garlic, turmeric, salt, red chili and water. Next, heat up 2 tsp oil, and cook the blended ingredients. When they smell good, put in lemongrass and coconut milk. Add 100ml water. Once it boiled over, put in 1tsp tempoyak, stir and put the prawn and simmer until the prawn is cooked. Lastly, add in turmeric leaves.

Vegetable soup

Half a broccoli
4 young corn shoot
1 carrot
Half of scallop
2 onion
3 garlic
Salt to taste
Anchovies
Water


Blend onion, scallop and garlic (To save time, I blend all the garlic, scallop and onion together, then take half out for vegie soup and half for prawn's gravy). Heat oil and simmer the blended ingredients with anchovies. Next, pour water, salt, and carrot in. After the carrot half cooked, put in young corn shoot and broccoli. I also put in 3 prawn to taste. Simmer again until boiled and walla~

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Gulai Lemak Tempoyak Udang

Setengah biji bawang besar
2 ulas bawang kecil
3 ulas bawang putih
2 helai daun kunyit
1cm kunyit atau 2 sudu serbuk kunyit
Setengah kotak santan
Air
Garam
14 ekor udang
4 biji lada
3 batang serai (dititik)
1 sudu tempoyak

Kisar bawang2. (untuk mudah dan cepat, kisar bawang untuk gulai dan sup sayur, asingkan separuh untuk sup sayur, dan masukkan kunyit, garam dan lada, kisar sekali lagi). Panaskan minyak, dan tuang bahan yand dikisar. Panaskan hingga naik bau, letak santan, serai, dan air 100ml. Kacau supaya santan xpecah. Masukkan 1 sudu tempoyak. Kacau. Masukkan udang dan daun kunyit y dihiris halus. Siap!

Sup Sayur

Separuh biji bawang
2 ulas bawang merah
3 ulas bawang putih
1 batang lobak
Separuh broccoli
3 ekor udang
4 Jagung muda
Garam
Air
Segenggam ikan bilis

Kisar bawang putih, bawang merah dan bawang besar. Panaskan minyak dan tuang bahan dikisar dan ikan bilis. Panaskan sampai naik bau, masukkan air, garam dan lobak merah. Bila lobak hampir masak, masukkan jagung dan broccoli dan udang. Kacau dan biarkan mendidih.Siap~

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Life is definitely good. XD