Another 15 days!

To live together, to work things out, put the R back in romanceee, have fun, travel the continents, lie in the bed talking and not talking, cooking together *or me cooking, him doing some other things*, eating together, making bentos, watching tv together, reading books together *different genre of course!*, and fighting*of course after making it up after that! I heard make up sex are great! Can't wait to try!* with my best bff. Ngiawww! Counting down to be married with my boo! XD

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Weekend, Suzuki Swift and Kia Forte

Hey you.

Had a busy busy busyyy weekend this week.

I searched for my room's new set of bedroom 

Then had to tidy up my room (since mine was mom's hands down, so I need to work a lot! Never been bothered as I wasn't there much, but need to do so now.)

Coz of tidying up, I had the worst asthma in 10years!

But it was worth it thou.

Just 25% finished thou.

Here's some of the stuff::

I know, I know, horrifying isn't it?

So I spend nearly 6hours on this:: 

Uhh much more better. Maybe I could tidy it up more later. XD

So on Sunday I went to car shopping and reviewing with boyfie.

So first we went to Suzuki, to look at the Swift. 

I always adore them, too bad there's only 5 colors :(

<3 the blue ones!

I like how the back seat could be folded all the way

The colors.

So I think maybe I should get one..hurmmm

On the road price is RM65XXX, so if no down payment, monthly will be around 750, and if with down payment can be much more cheaper. 

+, I think it s much more better than buying overpriced Myvi. *just my 2 cent*

So yeah, was thinking maybe later..or sooner! XD

Then we went for lunch (3pm, my stomach is starvingggg)

And had this for dessert:: 

Banana split! yummy! I used to have lots of this when I was smaller

Him, enjoying the b.s

Me, with my too sparkly hijab * bloody lazy and messy. haha *

Next stop, Kia!

We love the new Kia Forte!

The all new reverse camera (so cool!)

But what i love is the car key! <3 <3 <3

Okay, prolly will but the swift, but, maybe, maybeee Khyru can buy the forte? XD

Oh well, 27days more and lot more work to do!! 

Toodles!

My-fiance-to-be~

So, as we both don't have anything to do last week, we attend pre-wedding course *kursus pra perkahwinan*.

*tunang pon belom, semangat pegi kursus kahwin. :P *

Although its quite expensive (RM120) but okay lah. Only feel sleepy, as usual when you are hearing sermons :p

But the only thing I love is seeing my bf in songkok! *So bloody cute!*

Its too much to ask for him to wear baju melayu, so, songkok pon jadilahhh.

Cuteeeee

*Gedik*

Berangan? :P

Thanks hun! And happy monthly-sary switie! We are now 2years and 10months! Woohoo!

Love story:: birthday girl

Boy came to girl's hostel, waiting for her to come back. Girl walks home trying to ignore boy. Boy gives one of his puppy face & girl's heart melt & forgive him. He opened up to girl & girl could undersrand his problem. & They leave the topic aside & focus on something else more important, their relationship..

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Backpacking?

M thinking of backpacking. Maybe in Malaysia first & prolly when I could afford it then I'll go further. Currently high on my list is Paris, Japan, Korea, Hong Kong, Asian & others. Prolly save up money then I could buy round d world tics n spend 1year or more backpacking. Oh la la. Prolly b going on my own since I could never find travelling partner as crazy as I m. Well there s boyfie but I could not actually travel witout marriage certificate, can i? + its not easy to obtain one wf all these traditional & material minded country. So yeah, alone s d only way I could think off. Haizz. So there. A holiday for one.

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Off..

Well I feel like my heart have been ripped out. Initialy we thought we would wed first n d walimah will be much later. But turns out that its cancelled, alltogether. Makes me kinda turned off from marriage & wedding. I was so happy & excited planning for the wedding. But what to do. Maybe we r not ready. Maybe we will never be ready. Between our immaturity & craziness, I guess we ll never b lucky enough to be in the married wagon soon. So yeah. Probably d best... I feel like I want to go away, far away. Maybe now d perfect time? I just feel so heart broken... Even thinking of Diana cant help mending my heart. Hmm its okay. Time will heal I guess.

Kiss kiss

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Love story:: flower power

Boy meets girl. Girl asked if they could eat at mamak. Boy said yes & drove to mamak. Girl saw a parking space but boy refuse to park. Boy said its okay, we'll walk, a lil exercise. Girl were annoyed, asking to park as far as they can. Boy agree, driving top speed & parked at nearly 1.5km away. Girl said okay come lets walk! Boy said wait n took something from the seat behind. And out one perfect rose surrounded by purple n green stuff, in a girly pink paper. Girl laughs, smell the rose & said thank you, thats so sweet of u. Boy smile, drove back to the parking spot girl shown earlier. The end.

Well I hope not! There will be more love story to come!

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How 2

How can something so sweet could hurts like hell? How can a bee look cute but stings enuf to kill someone? How can the gently elephant stomps on people? How could your sweet pet turn savage? Why?

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How?

How could you? How could I?



I wish I could sleep and never wake up. I wish I could travel lands so far away you could never catch up. Keep on bleeding, you, keep on bleeding.

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Daddy dearest..

I'll pray for you,even when there is no hope anymore.
I'll pray for you, even if you said you'll be okay..
I'll pray for you, even when you said it does not hurt a bit.
I'll pray for you, come rain or shine..
I'll pray for you, even when you close your eyes, and more when you look at me.
I'll smile for you, even when my heart is aching n breaking into thousand tiny pieces.
I'll laugh with you, so that you feel stronger.
I'll hug n kiss you, as if tomorrow I will not see you again.
I'll hold your hand, telling you it will be okay.
I'll tell all the lame jokes, to hear your laugh.
I'll do my best to stay strong, so that you feel strong.
I'll do my best not to cry in front of you, so that you won't feel sad n guilty.
I'll put on my fake smile, even when I wanted to scream.


"Daddy dearest, why did you start smoking?
Daddy dearest, why can't you stop smoking?
Daddy dearest, who will go to my graduation if you don't?
Daddy dearest, who will buy me food I love just because?
Daddy dearest, how can I repay your love for me?
Daddy dearest, who should I show all my achievement later?
Daddy dearest, who will shake my husband to be hand and say the akad?
Daddy dearest, who will play with my children?
Daddy dearest, how can they not knowing their wonderful grandad?
Daddy dearest oh daddy dearest, why are you so stuborn?
Daddy dearest, why did you break my heart?
Daddy dearest, I'm scared, what should I do?
Daddy dearest, how can I live without you?"

Mommy dearest, please stay strong.
Dear sisters n brother, please be his rock.
Dear friends, please pray for my dad.

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On romance...

Hands up whoever loves romance? Me! Me! *hands waving in the air*

Teehee. Yeah, I have a confession. Hello everyone, I'm Kate, n I'm a love junkie. I'm a pure romance lover I tell you. I'm in love with romance itself, pure romantic. I love diy things for the ones I love. I love reading chick lits & romance novels & paperbacks. I adore romance comedy drama or films, in a nut shell, I'm a pure romantic, wear your heart on the sleeves kind, when I'm smitten or in love. I even in love of being in love!

And I can't stand being far from the one I love, nor being not the top priority of my love interest. Call me love junkie, or queen control, but I know what I want, n how I want it. & my guy knows that he should not mess with me. But he's happy with it, so fine by me!

& I absolutely love long walks at the beach, walking around holding hands. I love getting roses, even wildflower for me is pure romantic! I adore old couples walking holding hands together, n I wanted to be old n keep on holding hands like that.

Most of the films where the guy is pure romantic, getting ready a bath tub full of bubbles n rose petals? I adore it! I remember dreaming of having my prince do stuff like that for me. Hmmm... when will it come true eh? Probably after getting married kot. ;p

Well one can hope n dream as much as she can ait?so am just hoping my baby could spend some thinking,time n $$$ for this love junkie. Not everything is costly dear, as sometimes, free stuff are the best! Grab a pen, write a letter describing how you feel, write an email once a day about how you miss her, text her, forward a song, cook her something eatable, take her to a beach and there's plenty more!

Its cold, and I miss Khyru so much. I do hope when I'm married, I have hubby to warm me up when I'm cold. Muahaha menggatal gila. :p

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Home sweet home?

Gosh this gonna be my room for 3months. Those aliens have fly away yesterday so me n Vea could finally have our room for ourselves. But we have to get rid of those aliens' waste first. Sighhh

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Greetings from Astro-Girl,with love.

Hello fellow Earthians. I am Astro Girl, an astronaut from Planet Wekikilapapado, 2000k km from planet Earth. Yes, and I had to done special suit each time I have to go to this planet, where we produce some products here. Fascinating stuff I tell you. Half of this planet is so cold, you feel that your toes and fingers going numb when you went inside. Another half, after wearing full space suit, its so warm, you could hardly breathe. 


I have been here for a week, yup a week, and my log book, for this week, for five days, have been full with essay like writings on what I do on this planet. And its more than 20 pages already, its full of training-reading journal-training-training-trying to remember everything-training again. And some give us pop quiz when they were introduced to me. Meet and greet a lot of alien(s), who were, pretty cool. I sometimes don't understand what they said, but mostly, I understand what they showed me, so that is basically it.  


I'm going to do a lot of project, probably 3 of it. And, I'm pretty much interested in this field. No pictures could be taken, each doors and cave entries should have permissions or I have to wait for the aliens to open it. 


My day usually starts at 630, woke up, perform Subuh prayer, take shower, start collecting everything I needed, then take breakfast and walk to the foyer, wait for the space shuttle to load other aliens, then went to the main entrance, and punch card mostly at 8, but we only start working at 830. Next, start going thru the day, whether training, or reading journals, or donning space suit or part of space suit, then go to the whichever half of the planet, and start doing my job. 1230 start eating free meals, and perform another solah, and start performing other duties at 130. And at 6pm, went back home, bought buns or pisang selimut *yummies!* and went back, pray,eat or shower first then eat, then pray, wait for another prayer, then...sleep. And the next day start all over again. I love my job, seriously. But I absolutely detest the place I'm living in. Just waiting for the aliens to move out so I could actually have some real rest. Until then, no internet, no games or whatsoever. Could only sleep, or read something. Sigh. Tiring and boring when I was at hostel. 


Oh dear,its late already. I need my beauty sleep since I'm used to sleep early. So, toodles. Till next time~




Love,
Astro Girl

My babies

And these are only half of what i really have. Collected CLEO from 2005 and still do, I have lots more mags that I collected and more books that.mostly chicklit and romance of course! And the bottom shelf consist of only comics. Fiuh..

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Koko and Oncet

I bought another fish, a very very veryyyy fat gold fish, who looks like 100months pregnant, and namer her Oncet. And I think Koko is curious about the new comer, and he keep on kissing her ass! Or trying to swim beside her, or just lay still when she is. Omaigod, is Koko having a huge crush on Oncet?? But Oncet so bloody sombong, always swishing her tail off. Ceh. 




And V thinks she is that nice cute innocent goldfish and I am the notty sibuk annoying sepat mutiara. Yeah righttt. :P We are still having a pissed off contest right now where we are teasing each other mercilessly. :P I love teasing her and watching she makes her cute faces. Hahaha.


And am making a record of 24 hours with no sleep yet, and am waiting for my brother to arrive. Yippe! My baby is on her way to her Mummy! Should I crochet something for it? I don't want my baby to crash, haihh. Will upload the photos of the baby, the fishes and what-not later. :) 


Stay tune!

Falling in love...

With a pea coat I found at Padini. Should I buy it? No. Of course not. I have three closet full of clothes that I can't take them any where and so no, no way, I'm not gonna buy it. But I can't take my mind off it!


I had too much fun today, I laugh till my stomach hurts, my eyes get watery and I'm smiling like a big idiot a lot today. Today there's a reception in Dewan Jubli Intan where a friend from primary school had her reception. V was there and so are my abah n mak in class 95-2000, and there's a lot of people whom I never saw in years that I saw and just had fun today. Still waiting for the pics to be uploaded and will upload soon. Gambar curi cos I didn't take any. Will write more cos now am too bloody tired and sleepy! Goodnight peeps. :)

On cutting, suicide and dying

By now, everyone probably knows about Alviss Kong, who the same age of me, took his own life after his recent breakup. I am not gonna blame the girlfriend, things like this happen, relationship fails all the time, and I'm not gonna blame him either, coz probably he gave his heart out and just can't take it when it ends.


Personally, I think he is bloody cute, and he could get all the girls he wants. Heck if a man in prison could get a girlfriend, how hard can a normal, cute 22year old guy get another one right? But he loves her too much, and his depression just took him over. Its a pity and my condolence toward his families.RIP, Alviss Kong.


I could not say that I never had a suicide thought either. Back in the days when I was so depressed I could hardly think straight. And its not even new anymore, I was back in primary/secondary and it just keep coming and relapse. The thoughts of dying of course. I don't even know why am I so bloody depressed, I mean, I got a great family who give me everything I want, I always been the clever girl, the prefect, the face of brain, and I have lots of friends and stuff, but I was just, depressed. 


But I didn't do anything suicidal, but when the pain gets so bad, I cut. Not paper, not hair, but I cut myself. Mostly on my fingers and I just stare as the blood dripping out of the cut, and remember thinking the pain is out with the blood, the pain is out. Another thing I did is pierce my ear myself, which I have 13 of it. I remember piercing the upper ear after my last relationship fails, and when I think I'm heal, I opened up the stud, and let them close, and thinking, the hole is closing, and so does my heart, and I am healed, the scar will remain, but I am healed. I kept thinking that and yes, probably my visualizing was so good, my heart heal in time for another relationship. 


And I'm not telling this just to get attention, but I know how bad the pull is, how I think about if I die, I don't have to face this anymore. How thinking of dying could actually makes me happy. And sometimes, even now, I do feel the urge to cut myself, to do some physical pain to myself just to get even. But now am trying to channel myself to a positive side, and I remember doing everything just to get by, just to get the thoughts of suicide out of my head. I read, I sew, I bake, I crochet, just to pass the day. I eat a lot just to numb those feelings, and I admit, I'm an emotional eater. When I'm happy, I don't mind not eating and I don't feel hungry much, but when I'm on my depressed or I'm tense, I start eating, a lot and gain more pounds everyday. =.=". I guess I think by numbing out my feelings, and concentrating on my food is better than lying on my bed, thinking how and where to cut myself next. Its not easy, and teasing of my body just makes me wanna eat until I puke. But I'm slowly trying to distinguish between eating to live, or eating, just for the sake of it. I'm trying to do various things at once, and sometimes I'm just to tired of everything and want to stop, but I keep on going. I try not to depend on others, I try not to hung tightly and be paranoid. 


Yes, people day recite Quran, pray more, but sometimes it didn't work, I can't be praying when I'm in class and suddenly I get those thoughts kan? I tried my best, but sometimes, the thoughts are overwhelming. One day at a time baby. It gets better. Its a taboo word this suicide thing, but I'm not gonna close my eyes over it. I try to be there for those who have suicide thoughts, cos I know, there's a different when people actually care. I don't mind spending time for other people, and that makes me an easy target to con, but yeah, I tried to help those who need my help. Although at times, resentment and anti socializing try to overcome me. But since I'm a fighter, and I fought myself all the time, so nothing could get me down ever again. 


And I remember for one English class that we have to do a presentation, I chose suicide. The topic, not the actual thing. Millions suicide occurs every other day, and I don't want to be another statistic. However bad life treating you, however unfair you think God is, just remember it will get better, and God knows that you are fit enough for His challenge. 


My dad has a lung cancer, and he amaze me by not breaking down or bothered about it, and he try to live his life to the fullest. He went everywhere, met everyone, going to places and I feel small. Me, without any bothering stuff, thinking of suicide when my dad who could be taken down by the cancer anytime, trying his best to be alive and truly living. My friend, who had discovered she had a tumor and operate last week, trying her best to be alive, doing her best not to cry and be depressed. My another friend, who have tons, I mean tons of disease and her body is so weak, always smiling and be gracious towards everything. So, is it fair that those who healthy as bull try to commit suicide and those who knows that their life hanging onto a string trying their best to stay alive. Crazy isn't it?


So people, if its too hard to take, try to talk to people, write up your feelings, read books, seek help! Sometimes, we didn't see the sun, but we know its always there. If I had committing suicide earlier, I will never meet Khyru and being this blissfully happy. I would never had a HTC Desire *yes I need to point that out, will be getting it on Tuesday or Wednesday wipppeee!* I would not meet my bffs today, and I would not inherited a four acre of land * yes my dad named me as inheritor for that land, not my other siblings, maybe because I love the land too much, and I m the only one who wants to do something with that piece of land, so I can cross two of my wish list*. So you see people, life is hard, life is a bitch, but unless you're living it, you don't even know what you are missing. Take care, till then.

Halfway through tidying up my room

Yeah my once-a-month-tidy-up-everything-now just came and like a mad woman, I change the bed position, diy a put-it-up-urself-shelves which I spent nearly 3 hours or so doing it, dragging four different shelves to and fro the room and damn I'm tired! Start piling up those magazines and chick lit and what not, and start putting them from one shelf to another, and not liking the look and change everything again. Man I'm totally tired, and still my room doesn't resemble a room yet, still too many knick knacks piling on my floor. Sheish. Maybe tomorrow I'll be doing it all over again, and then the next day for my pile of clothes. A full week, for just one room.


My friend from primary school is getting married, and I'm invited and my bff is coming over, and probably that wedding will be like a small reunion party. I have no idea whether I'm looking forward for all those asking where when how blah2. But on the plus side, V will be there so yeah, it probably be good for me to see them since I haven't see them for a while. Still haven't decide what to wear. And tomorrow night my brother will be on his way back to Malaysia, and my phone, hopefully will arrive tomorrow, but still probably going to meet my phone next week since he's going back next week. :(


Never mind that, the previous phone is some how damaged and could not be unlock, so my brother change it to a new one, and Khyru's phone also used not new, so he changed that too, and I'm happy! There's a lil secret and surprise and Khyru don't know yet, so just hope everything for the best! :)

HTC Desire and HTC Legend

*Smile*

Oh yes I am in a very good mood lately.

My phone, HTC Desire just arrived at my lovely brother doorstep, and will be embracing mama in a week.

As all of you probably know, Khyru's birthday just passed, and I haven't got any present yet. 

Well its because I actually wanna buy him another Desire.

However, my brother have Legend on his hand, but still I'm not sure. 

Should I wait and buy another Desire, or should I go with the Legend?

Damn.That is a hard choice.

...............

Okay, at last, I asked him.

And he said, he's fine with anything, so...no surprise there. :(

And yest, I video call my brother, and saw my Desire. Oh!!!

How I wish he's coming back quickly!!

I want my Desire!!

Okay, another week. Just a few days, I can handle it. :)

Here is Legend::

Since he is crazy about GPS, so I thought this is the appropriate gift for him. 

But I checked that Malaysia have no google maps, or lagging too much, so I look on forums and there are some apps that needed to be downloaded, and accurately points way just like a GPS.

So I m happy for that

Since he's not a gamer or playing internet heavily, unlike me, so he said this is just perfect.

But still, I want to actually give him Desire too. 

Too bad, but as long as he s happy with the gift, then its ok! :)

And I think I need to change my data plan. :)

The result is out!!

Yes, unfortunately the result is out today, and yes, I did not fail anything which is a relieve since I thought I am going to fail big time this time, but no, am still standing high. :) 


Yes I know I should be pissed of because of something, but I just can't!!I still get 3++ pointer, so yeah am happy already. Well actually, not because of that. but because of::

Behold!!

The HTC Desire that I had desired for for so effing long!

OMO!!

Yeap, my stud brother is going back next Thursday and he asked IF I want anything

*come on, I ALWAYS want something :P*

So I said,HTC Desire.

And sooooo

The Desire have been bought just now!!

And tomorrow it will be on its way to my brother

And next week, it will come to see mama!

Oh yeah baby!!

I am so excited I don't even play my games, but I went and clean my room

And one of my fish died. 

My granma accidently unplug the oxygen and so, one of it being so weak and all, died. Sobs

I buried it anyway.

And Ershadiah, get well soon!!

And Khyru, Happy birthday darling!!

You are a year older than me, for 3months, and then we will be the same age again. 

Well, happy day babe! :) 

And Che Nab, my other mother,

happy birthday, I love you a lot! :)

Ps: I can't buy anything for months to follow

But who am I kidding??

pfffttt~